The following blog post is written by Dean Lynne Marie Kohm, Associate Dean of Faculty Development & External Affairs and John Brown McCarty Professor of Family Law at Regent University School of Law.
Understanding the basics of marital strength as the
foundation for the family is critical to any lawyer in America today. With
nearly half of all marriages ending in divorce, and less than half of all
children born into married families, a lot of families need hope and
restoration. Understanding the breakdown of the family from a legal and
personal perspective, discerning what can be done, individually, morally and
legally, to restore the family to that complete design intended can make a
tremendous difference to individuals – and to an entire culture. A lawyer
of character who understands his or her role can be the key to that hope for
restoration.
Professor Ben Madison discusses this connection between
professional identity and character in his article on
that subject. Appropriate lawyer conduct can make all the difference.
That said, the relationship between the Rules of Professional Conduct and the
development of practical judgment needed to help families make good decisions
is most curious, and extremely vital.
When a person consults a lawyer to seek a divorce, for
example, the model rules require an attorney to advise that potential client of
all his or her options to end the marriage. To do otherwise would be
malpractice. But those options can also include other remedies for a broken
marriage. Advice on alternatives to divorce may even be welcome by many
clients who think their only option is a divorce they don’t really want.
Indeed, the rules do not prohibit a lawyer from sharing assistance toward
marriage restoration, and in fact, the public policy of every state in the
nation is to encourage marriage and marital stability.
So how might an attorney take on this task? What if
one party sees the marriage as over because of his or her substance abuse, but
the other party sees that substance abuse as ruining the marriage?
Contract language that both parties agree to in terms of getting medical
assistance and counseling to deal with the abuse problem may just help this
otherwise-over marriage. If the client wishes to preserve their family
for the sake of the children involved, or to preserve family wealth, or simply
to preserve health and stability of the parties, the attorney who understands
real legal alternatives can make a tremendous difference. In my article “Understanding
Realistic Reconciliation in an Age of Divorce,” attorneys and clients
are offered a similar simulation of alcohol abuse, and actual contract language
to assist couples in those types of marital difficulties to rebuild trust
toward family restoration.
The importance of authenticity and self-awareness as
precursors to helping a client to make good decisions will reflect the personal
integrity of the lawyer, and will promote the emotional well-being of both
lawyer and client. Family law particularly brings out some cognitive
dissonance that enables and encourages well-prepared lawyers of strong
character to understand the desperate need clients have for lawyers who care about
them, their family, and their future.
Lawyers can be healers of human conflict, and can use the
law to work toward family restoration – setting a whole new pace – beyond the
rule.
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